Sympathy Card Etiquette: 5 Things to Avoid and What to Do If They Slip In.
We are reporting on this topic because every day ScanMyPhotos receives digitizing orders from grieving families preparing for a funeral or memorial service–sharing a lifetime of pictures celebrating the life of those who passed away.
Introduction: Sending a sympathy card is a thoughtful way to express condolences and offer support during difficult times. However, we must be mindful of the content we include in these cards. Some sentiments, however well-intended, may unintentionally cause more harm than good.
Crafting Empathetic Sympathy Cards: Guidelines for Genuine Support and Comfort
Here are five things people should never put in a sympathy card and explanations for why they should be avoided. We’ll also discuss the appropriate action if one of these sentiments slips into a sympathy card.
- Clichรฉd platitudes: Clichรฉd phrases such as “Everything happens for a reason” or “They’re in a better place now” may seem comforting, but they can come across as dismissive or minimize the pain the recipient is experiencing. Each person’s grief is unique, and such phrases can invalidate their emotions. It’s best to offer genuine empathy and support without relying on generic expressions.
- Comparison to personal experiences: Sharing stories of your own losses or experiences can sometimes overshadow the recipient’s grief. While your intention may be to relate and offer solace, it might inadvertently divert attention away from the person who needs support. Instead, focus on acknowledging their pain and providing a listening ear.
- Unsolicited advice: Offering unsolicited advice, particularly on matters of healing or moving on, can be intrusive. Each person’s grief journey is personal, and they may not be ready to consider such guidance. Instead, let the bereaved know you’re there to listen, offer assistance, or provide resources if they express a desire for guidance.
- Religious or spiritual assumptions: Not everyone shares the same religious or spiritual beliefs, so including overtly religious sentiments or assuming the bereaved shares your faith can alienate or cause discomfort. While religious sentiments can be meaningful to some, it’s crucial to be sensitive to the recipient’s beliefs. Opt for more universally empathetic messages that transcend specific belief systems.
- Downplaying the loss: Minimizing the magnitude of the loss or using phrases like “They lived a long life” or “At least they’re no longer suffering” can diminish the grieving person’s feelings. It’s important to acknowledge the significance of their loss and validate their emotions. Express sincere condolences and assure them of your support during this challenging time.
What to do if one of these sentiments slips in:
If you unintentionally include any of the above sentiments in a sympathy card, addressing the situation with grace and empathy is essential. Firstly, recognize and acknowledge your mistake, expressing remorse if necessary.
Offer a genuine apology and let the recipient know that your intention was never to hurt or invalidate their feelings. If appropriate, consider sending a follow-up message or having a conversation to clarify your intentions and provide support without the inadvertent hurtful remarks.
Conclusion: When writing a sympathy card, we must be mindful of the content we include. Avoiding clichรฉs, personal comparisons, unsolicited advice, and religious assumptions, and minimizing the loss will help ensure our messages are genuinely supportive and empathetic.
If any of these sentiments accidentally make their way into a sympathy card, addressing the mistake promptly and genuinely apologizing will demonstrate your compassion and commitment to supporting the bereaved during their time of need.
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